Discovering you're neurodivergent later in life

Finding out that you are autistic, have ADHD or are otherwise neurodivergent in adulthood can bring more than one emotion.

There may be relief. Things that previously seemed confusing suddenly have context. There can also be sadness, frustration or anger. You might find yourself looking backwards and wondering how life could have been different if you had understood yourself earlier. Both can exist at the same time.

Looking at the past through a different lens

A later diagnosis or recognition of neurodivergence can prompt people to revisit earlier experiences.

Perhaps school or university was more difficult than other people realised. Relationships may have required enormous effort. You might have spent years believing you were disorganised, overly sensitive, difficult or simply not trying hard enough.

Understanding neurodivergence can offer another way of interpreting those experiences.

It does not rewrite what happened, but it may change the meaning you attach to it.

There isn't one neurodivergent experience

Terms such as ADHD and autism describe broad diagnostic categories. They don't tell me everything about the person sitting in front of me.

Two autistic people may experience the world very differently. The same is true of two people with ADHD. Therapy therefore needs to begin with you rather than with assumptions about what your diagnosis means.

Therapy after a late diagnosis

Therapy isn't about teaching someone how to appear less neurodivergent.

It can provide somewhere to explore what your diagnosis or developing understanding means to you.

That might involve identity, relationships, work, overwhelm, self-esteem or experiences from earlier in life. It can also involve recognising strengths and finding ways of living that place less pressure on you to meet expectations that don't fit. There doesn't have to be a single objective.

A perspective I understand personally

I was diagnosed as AuDHD later in my own life and I am dyscalculic. My diagnosis provided another perspective on experiences I had carried for many years. It did not suddenly provide an answer to everything, but it helped me understand parts of myself differently.

I also know that my experience isn't somebody else's. I bring lived experience to my work, but I won't assume that being neurodivergent means I automatically know how you think or feel. Therapy is still about understanding your individual experience.

Allene's CV records specialist neurodivergence work alongside her psychotherapy practice, including supporting clients with ADHD and autism.

Want to explore this further?

You can read more about my approach to Neurodivergent Therapy, learn more About Me, or get in touch for an introductory conversation.